Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
