I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
