We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
