Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
