I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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