Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
