just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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