Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently the secret to your success is patron
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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