just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
