My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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