Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
