It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
