And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
