Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
