Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
