Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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