he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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