I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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