We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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