I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
