Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
