So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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