i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
