But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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