Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
