It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
