dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
