ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
