Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
