i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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