went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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