Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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