The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
