hotel room ftw
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
