You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
