The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
