If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
