Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
