My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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