My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
