We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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