just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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