I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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