Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
