can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
