What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
