i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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