Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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