winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
