1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
