Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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