this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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